i-m-nobody

guess this is gonna be a long one... haha... don't bother it's nothing important... it's only some random stuffs... they don't worth any of your time reading... it's full of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes...

for the past few days... things has been hectic for me... getting the website done... meeting with clients... going to the bank to get my atm card fixed... getting my ums entry form done... and not forgetting... dealing with the people around me... who are giving me some pressures in life...

yeah... it's hectic and shitty i know... well... for some people my life isn't really as hectic or shitty as theirs... but hey... i'm not comparing here... so leave me alone... haha...

life is full of crap and full of shit... that's life... right...? hmmm... yeah... it's part of life... but it doesn't take control of our lives... no...? don't agree...? well at least for me... i don't think my life is entirely full of crap and shit... yeah... i do agree that my life does have some craps and some shits going on every now and then... but hey... are we missing something here...? what about the sweets and cotton candy in life...? why...? you're afraid of getting diabetes? that's why you need to always focus on the bitterness and suckyess of life...? haha... nevermind me... i always don't watch what i'm actually saying... i guess that's one of the many reasons why sometimes my life is shitty and crappy...

hmmm... humans... somehow... we prefer to be seen as a special person or at least get noticed by some people... i guess it's because of the egoness in us... we wanted to be unique and different... sometimes... we wonder if anyone would ever understands us... and yet... sometimes... we feel that there's no need for them to understand us because... it's pointless... or... it doesn't really matters... and so... there comes isolation... and hurt... and it could mean hurting ourselves... whether we know it or not... or it could also mean hurting the people that cares for us... but who cares right...? cause we don't really care anyway... sigh...

understanding one and other is hard... yeah... i know... we all like to keep it all to ourselves... and sometimes we wonder why people try to keep their feelings and emotions... well... i guess it will always be the ego issues... at least i know i am one of them... heck... sometimes i don't even understand myself either... hahaha... i even try to not understand myself too much... sigh... it's a joke alright... i mean... life... itself is really a joke for me...

sometimes... we thought we could just try to be a little more bubbly or talkative... or a little bit more cheerful... but it's all face value... deep down inside we're only faking it... and we're actually hiding all the bitterness inside... and when that someone cared for you noticed it... and wanted to share the burden... we just push them away... far... far... away... and when they tried to understand us... we will just shu them away... telling them to mind their own business... our problems are left for us to keep... hmmm... and sometimes we wonder... why on earth did we ever wanna do that... and when they told us it's our ego that's making us think this way... we would get even with them... screw the world... our life is for us to understand and not them... yeah... that's what kind of person i am... no...? unbelievable...? well... maybe i was wearing a mask all these while... and i have been acting pretty hard to hide the other side of me...

i don't know why i have been putting up a show for all these years... trying to hide my feelings... trying to hide my sadness and bitterness... maybe i just wan't people to think that i'm strong... that whatever shit and crap hits me... i can just go for a shower... and i will smell nice n clean again... but that is just a stupid kind of hypnotic skills i did on myself...

and i thought my new blog will never gonna have even one piece of emo crap in it... guess it can't be helped after all... i am a human being born with emotions after all... don't feel like reading more...? good... please don't bother to read more... it's really not important...

friends... who need friends anyway...? i have me by my side... as long as i'm alive and breathing... i don't need freinds... reminds me of the song "I am a rock" from simon and garfunckle (i guess that's how it's spelt)... and it reminds me even more on the recent ds game i'm playing... "The World Ends With You"...

when we are in a joyful mode... we tend to take things more generously... we tend to treat the people around us more nicely... we tend to not piss them off that much that's for sure... hahaha... but when we are pissed of the shits and craps of life... we will go destructive... we don't give a damn on anything... and we tried to change... or... at least... i tried...

words and speech can be the most deadliest weapon to hurt... or to kill... but it could also be a powerful healing and motivating device that could brings hope and happiness... we are given this gift of speech... and how are we going to utilize it...? to hurt... or to heal... that's the question...
but often times... we tend to get over excited and accidentally misused the gift of speech... i know i did... i always don't watch what i'm talking... and sometimes i don't even know that my speech has send a misunderstanding signal or just pissed someone off in purpose... hey... i really didn't know... well at least if i have said or did something wrong... just tell me... or else i won't know what's going on...

i guess this is long enough to bore you guys away before reading more... it's nothing important really... it's just me and my stupid blog... hahaha...

sometimes... i keep telling myself that i am really in fact a nobody... i don't play any roles in anyone's life... i shuld not expect everyone to accept me as somebody... i'm not that important anyway... and yet i still tried to screw it... i still tried to be an understanding person and a caring person whom will just fail in the process of doing so... i am a nobody... so why do i even wanna try...? i seriously don't know... ... ...end

its been ten days... since my last blog update... it's all because of this...


so far so good for a rough design... gonna update with more images and banners... btw... my next updates would be deleting all the frames... no more frames... ... ... ...end

oatmeal-for-breakfast

things i eat every morning... well... it's a little tasteless i know... but i was told this will help me slim down a little... and my dad actually slimed down a lot after eating this every day... how true is that...? you people will have to wait and see if i could get any slimmer without working out... ... ... ...end

my-lunch

again... the things i eat at home... when i'm cooking myself... it'll end up this way...

descriptions... a bowl of maggie mee goreng pedas... a peice of deep-fried sausage which has been sliced into 4... 2 deep-fried sunny-side-up (eggs)... and one large lightly fried onions which are still raw in taste... plus a bit of tomato kechup...

my dad thinks it's too much for me... and it's unhealthy... well... personally i do feel that this portion of meal was infact alot.... and i can't really finish them all by myself... so why did i cooked up all these food...? lols... it's because i was hungry that's why... ... ... ...end

10th-june

is a day where all ex-ttss-senior 3 student of the yr 2001 will never forget... it was the day of sadness and despair... a day of mourning and weeping... a day... that will always keep each and everyone of us reminded... that speeding will cause your life and also the ones you cared about... may tony's and ah fat's souls rest in peace... and be brought in to heaven... ... ... ...end

today-is-sunday

it is the day after the flooding of my area... and all the cocroaches are gone for now... atlease gone from my house... and today... is a very interestingly bizzare day for me... why because... there's a pair of rabbits standing... well... kind of like hanging around around the car park area... at my aunt's place... (for your information...she doesn't have any rabbits...) yeah... so i managed to get a few snapshots of it before it hoped off to somewhere else... ...?

ahhh...cute lil rabbits... so far i only managed to get this one...cause the other one hoped off elsewhere... and couldn't be found... it's a male by the way... and it's not afraid of humans... it's kind of tamed... my guess is... it must hav hoped off from it's caged after being flooded and ruined last night...

by the way... after feeding it a carrot... around half an hour later it decided to leave us and hope off to somewhere else... i guess it misses it's home... it stood still at the backyard and gave a calm stare into the kitchen... (where me and my aunt were sitting at the moment... and no... i wasn't on drugs...) i think it was trying to say goodbye to us and a thank you for treating it some vegies... ... ... ...end

flood

i hate floods... i seriously do... i hate it when my house floods... i hate it because when it floods... all the cocroaches will come swarming out from their colonies and run into my house... cocroaches... they come in different sizes and colours... flat or fat... and even crooked ones too... and there are baby roaches... those without wings... orange-semi-opac roaches... those that you don't get to see often... and the most sickening of them all... albino roaches... those white-ish... semi-transparent... roaches... urgh... ... ... ...end

stress-again

was suppose to be feeling less stressful after getting the booklet layout done... but no... life just keep getting harder and harder for me... 1st... alignment issues went wrong... then printer ran out of inks... after that... printer can't detect black (new) ink catridge... by the way... i'm printing everything in greyscale... so what the hell is the printer not detecting my balck in catridge...? other than that... after getting the sample pages printed out... when brought to a photocopying machine... the outcome sucks big time... the backgrounds are not even visible... screw the designs... screw my time... screw everything... and screw you freaking life... screw you... ... ... ...end

petrol-price-increases

"Petrol to cost RM2.70 from midnightKUALA LUMPUR: Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi on Wednesday announced the new price for petrol is RM2.70 a litre, effective midnight tonight.He announced that the price of petrol would be increased by 78sen and diesel by RM1.The 40% increase in petrol price is part of the new fuel subsidy plan the Prime Minister announced at 5pm Wednesday.The price of diesel goes up to RM2.58 from RM1.58. Via TheStar "
gotten from http://forum.clickstartplay.com/index.php?topic=4985.0

i bet u all have gotten the news about the new petrol pricing after 4th of june... yes... and everyone is complaining about the price hike in fuels... and as usual... everyone (except me cuase i don't drive) was rushing for that very last tank of fuel to be filled before the next new price tags are put to use... causing some serious jam... funny thing is... unless they brought along a few empty fuel bucket to be filled... they are actually wasting more fuel just by lining up and get their car's tank filled... with all that jams... and last minute filling... they are wasting both time... money... and energy...

but that's not the main point... the point is... this doesn't only happens in kk... it happens in kl as well as the rest of the world... and everyone is protesting... but what can we do about it besides letting the rich and powerful benefit while we are suffering each and every second...? stop complaining... stop blaiming... it's time to think what can you do and help improve the life of ourselves and also for our children's children... start to plan and act now before it's too late... ... ... ...end

no-more

i feel stress... and i smell the scent of my previous room... in kl... the smell of over-night burnt cigerrette ashes... a sign of me feeling stress... i don't want to remember the life... those unwanted memories... no more lemons... no more depressions... no more... no more... ... ... ...end

this-is-cute

this is a super duper cute design... and i am sooo in-love with it... ... ... ...end

another-happy-day

guess why i am happy today... why...? bcause i just got myself a neat nike limited edition flat base (however u called it) white background candy blue decor shoe... and here are the pictures...

the above are the pictures before i change the original white shoe laces into a candy blue shoe laces...

and these are the pictures taken after i got the candy blue shoe laces changed to fit the designs of the shoe... hmmm... and this is my 1st nike shoe... well... never really thought of getting myself a nike... i am actually an adidas and fila fan... but since i can't find any nice designs from adidas and fila... i guess i'll have to settle for this one then... it's a good thing that it's not really expensive... it's only RM189.00... which is still under my budget... yeah... so till next time... ... ... ...end

scone

this tiny little thing is called a scone... don't be fooled by the size of it in the picture... it might look very big here... but it's just around palm size...

incase u didn't know... a scone is a small unsweetened or lightly sweetened cake made from flour... fat... and milk... it's yummy... and it's fresh from the oven... ... ... ...end

fried-rice-for-lunch

behold... this is my lunch... 'nasi-goreng-special' a.k.a. fried-rice-special + egg + cucumber slices + pork chop (in sweet souce)... wow... that's something very very filling... ... ... ...end

extremely-happy

was suppose to blog this up yesterday... but the phone connectors wasn't working... anyway... i'm feeling extremely happy... cause i've just receive a very special parcel from australia... yes... it's the limited edition collector's item world youth day sydney 2008 pope bennedict 1 australian dollar gold platted coin... i'm feeling happy... and touched at the same time... thank you isis... you really know what will make me happy...

the front view of the coin shows pope benedict (in colours) and beside him is the world youth day logo... while the back view of the coin shows qween elizibeth the 2nd... too bad the pictures are a little blurred... cause i was using my N70(M) to snap them... anyways... was planning to go for world youth day this year... but sadly... didn't manage to save up... so i guess will have to wait for the next world youth day then... i hope they will make it in somewhere near... like... malaysia... hahaha... which i think it's not possible... sigh... thanks again isis... i will frame this and hang it up on my new house when i find a nice frame that is... ... ... ...end

...tired...

i feel so tired today... have been spending too much time infront of the computer... designing booklets for freedom camp... i think i've just wasted more than 12 hours on these designs... i seriously hope they pay off well...



they had to be in black and white... because the church funds can't cover that much cost if we were to print those cover designs in colours... sigh... anyway... i think i should stop for now... too tired to go on... urghhh... ... ... ...end

one-borneo-movie-outing

i was suppose to hang out in k-box last night... but have decided to join the forumers for a free movie screening in one borneo instead...

we watched "nim's island"... and that's the poster... that will give you a lot of wild imaginations... the poster does look kind of interesting doesn't it...? well... don't be fooled by it, it's neither peter-pan nor pan's labyrinth kind of fantasy movie... it's just you're normal 3-star family movie... and it's a good thing that i don't have to pay for it... and... the not so good thing about the free movie was... just about anyone can go in and 'enjoy' the screening... well, i try not to sound prejudice or discriminating... no, im not that kind of a person... it's mainly because i really can't stand people who are lack of common knowledge or basic manners or should i say... ethics while being inside a cenima when a movie is running... yes... i really can't stand those people... a bit of a giggle or laughs are ok during certain scenes... but... chit-chatting and moving around like the entire cenima are your's... well... sorry pal... i'll have to black list you... yes... i might be making myself looked a little bit arrogant or whatever you may like to call it... but heck... i just want a pleasant time watching my movie... well... i know... i can't really complain too much... because the tickets are free... anyone could just go in wether i like it or not... sigh... well... atleast you didnt see me complaining straight to their faces... cause i know i should just keep cool and let the rest enjoy their movie without much distractions... gosh... seems like i've gone out of topic... i should be giving out some comments on the movie... haha... anyway... here's the movie review from me...

movie rating... 3/5

movie type... fiction + action + fantasy + comedy + family

movie synopsis... nim, is a girl, lives on an unknown island with her scientist dad (the guy who acted in '300'...the spartan king)... when her dad got lost in the sea... she managed to get her favourite action + adventure hero... alex rover (who was actually just a fictional character created by alexandra rover) to help her while waiting for her dad to get home... yeah... that's basically it... and during the entire movie... you'll get to see some lizards and birds helping nim and her dad... oh... not forgetting that this story ends with a happy ending... so i guess it's still worth the watch if you feel like giving your wallet diet weekend... ... ... ...end